Currently...redux!

Blogging's felt hard lately, though I can't say why exactly. There's plenty to write about - running, politics, food, travel, photography - but somehow I don't feel motivated - which is why, in an effort to get some creative juices flowing, I decided to revisit a blog prompt from last year. 

Time and place...

Tuesday evening after the long Heritage Day weekend, I'm wrapped in a warm blanket, sitting by the fire, sipping red wine, with husband reading contently beside me.

Cooking...

Not at the moment, but I cooked lots over the weekend - homemade biscuits for breakfast, pork tenderloin with mustard and wine cream sauce for supper on Saturday, squash and risotta cakes (to accompany husband's yummy BBQ lamb chops) on Sunday, and lemon and thyme "beer can" chicken on Monday. It felt good spending time in the kitchen for a change.

Awaiting...

A city crew to haul away the snow piles in front of our driveway after the last week's monster storm. It's a good thing we don't need our second car, since it's still completely inaccessible. These photos were taken after the big storm but before a second one, which dropped another 20 cms. The pile in front of the car is at least two feet higher now.

Experiencing...

A strange mixture of fear, sadness, anger, determination and euphoria in response to the spectacle unfolding south of the boarder and people's responses to it.

Working on...

So. Many. Things. For starters, various projects at work, which has been more hectic than usual lately. Also, my training for Cabot Trail Relay, which was interrupted by a nasty flu last week, and knitting a wool hat to replace the one I lost last winter. Oh, and selling our country house, and working on a special birthday present for Husband, and figuring out what I want to be when I grow up... amongst other things... 

Reading...

Several books at once (as usual). I'm nearly finished Virginia Woolf's Orlando, and just started Laura Bates' Everyday Sexism and Margaret MacMillan's Paris 1919. Last week I finished Donna Morrissey's The Fortunate Brothers, which I highly recommend. Next, I hope to reread Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale and Orwell's 1984.

Listening to...

A wood fire crackling in the fireplace. Also Nemmie the cat, who's more talkative than she used to be - and somewhat more willing to having her picture taken. I grabbed these shots while she was lazing on our bed last weekend.

Craving...

Warmth and sunshine. It's hard not to with so many friends posting snapshots from their vacations "down south", but I'm determined to stay strong and save my vacation days for later. If the country house sells quickly enough, we'd like to head back to Europe in the summer or fall.

Hating...

All things Trumpist - here in Canada as well as in the US. And, yes, I do mean Kevin O'Leary, Kellie Leitch, and their nasty little friends. 

Loving...

The hope, optimism and determination that's springing from the ashes of the US election. Need proof? Check out this video, and this article. And there are plenty more where they came from. Here's hoping love and compassion triumph in the end. There are millions working hard to make it happen.

Also, the mild weather we've been having. It was so runny and warm on Saturday, we stopped to sunbathe for a bit after snow shoeing at Risser's Beach Provincial Park. It was glorious!

Anticipating...

A provincial election call. No one knows when it will come but the government seems anxious to return to the polls asap. Also, a long weekend in Prince Edward Island to celebrate Husband's 65th birthday in March. We haven't been to "the gentle island" in a couple of years so are keen to get back and visit some dear friends there.

Watching...

My waistline. I'm determined to drop a few more pounds before tackling my fifth Cabot Trail Relay in May and, so far, my efforts seem to be paying off. Reducing my alcohol consumption, eating fewer sweets and more leafy greens, and running regularly appears to be having an impact.

Promoting...

The causes that matter most to me - environmental sustainability, feminism, social and economic justice, human rights - on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and this blog. And, no, I don't care if it makes people uncomfortable. As a species, we're headed in the wrong direction and running out of time. Many more of us need to take a stand - fiercely, peacefully, and with openness and compassion. 

Avoiding...

Thinking too much about CTR - now just 13.5 weeks away. On Saturday, I managed to run up and down Logan Street hill 5 times but it felt harder than I hoped it would and I took more walk breaks than I intended. I'd like to think it was because I was still recovering from the flu and running conditions weren't ideal, but the reality is I'm a long way from ready to tackle North Mountain. Here's hoping 13 more weeks of training will be enough.

And what about you, dear readers? What and how are you doing...currently?

If I had more time...

Blogging has moved a long way down priority list lately. Not because I don’t want to write, or don’t have things to say, but simply because I have too many commitments in the "real" world and no time for it. I doubt anyone's missed my musings, but I certainly miss documenting them. Writing helps me clarify my thoughts in a way little else does.

For instance, if I had more time, I’d write about Brexit and why I've found the news coverage of it so frustrating. It seems most commentators are determined to oversimplify some issues and ignore others so that they can draw conclusions supporting their own political views. I'd rather they presented a fair and balanced picture of the circumstances that led to the majority of UK citizens voting to leave the EU. I'm not at all convinced it was the right decision but I can certainly understand why so many were tempted to vote for change. 

If I had more time, I’d write about climate change and my fear that humankind has much less time to make drastic changes in order to survive than most of us understand. I hope I’m wrong, of course. It breaks my heart to think my beautiful nieces and nephews may face such a grim future but my gut is telling me I’m not wrong. In fact, my gut is telling me to forget about planning for old age because none of us are going to live long enough to see it.

If I had more time, I’d write about why everyone should learn to do mountain pose. Doing it properly helps me tune into my body so I'm more likely to notice what aligned and what isn’t, what’s strong and what’s weak, whether I'm breathing deeply enough, and what my mind's doing. Seriously, everyone should do a mountain pose at least once a day, preferably with their eyes closed.

If I had more time, I’d write more about my family relationships and how, though I sometimes wish they were more open and positive, I’ve reached the age where I’m no longer willing to sacrifice who I am and what I believe to win approval and acceptance. I love my family a lot but life is simply too short.

If I had more time, I’d write about how wasteful and stupid I think it is that we spend so much time and money on things we don’t actually need to live beautiful, meaningful lives. In fact, much of what we consume makes us sick, dissatisfied, overweight and unhappy – things like cosmetics, cheap clothes, disposable everything, bad food, pharmaceuticals, pornography, mainstream “entertainment” and professional sports.

Finally, if I had more time, I’d write about what I think it takes to live a “good life”. To my mind, it’s not about how much I have, or where I travel, or who my friends are. It’s about how authentically and compassionately I deal with others, whether I’m grateful for what I have or believe I’m entitled to it, how often I do the “right” rather than the easy thing, and whether my good intentions are reflected in my actions. Love is a verb. Acting with integrity, though sometimes difficult and uncomfortable, is essential. Respecting others means respecting their good and bad choices and resisting the urge to ridicule. It's usually possible to find beauty even in the darkest times. Walking lightly on the planet means curbing my appetites and working for change.

What would you write about if you had more time?

A short writing holiday

For whatever reason, I woke up yesterday inspired to revise one of the stories I drafted for NaNoWriMo last November and, with minimal dilly-dallying, that's what I did. It took most of the day but, by bedtime, the second draft was done and sent to my good friend Janet, who agreed to read it (bless her!). The story still feels a long way from finished but at least I made progress.

The basic story line is this: A lonely man, faced with the prospect of a miserable retirement, tries to commit suicide by running the toughest race in Eastern North America.

I know. It's a ridiculous premise but it still works somehow - or, at least, I think it does. The story is one of four I drafted before giving up on NaNo last year. My original plan was to write five or six stories about runners participating in C2C, then weave them together to create a novel.

The first story was very dark. It's about two female university students, long time runners and friends, who become involved with a Jian Ghomeshi-like professor. I don't think I'm going to finish it. I didn't enjoy writing the professor's character and I'm not sure it fits with the other stories anyway.

The second is about an older runner, a lifelong resident of St. John's, coming to grips with the fact that he's in the early stages of Alzheimer's. When I described the plot to Husband last fall, it made his eyes tear up so I think I may be on to something with that one - though it will be hard to avoid ending up with something maudlin.

The last story is about a young Muslim woman, a recent immigrant to Canada, struggling to reconcile her desire to compete in the race with her parents' expectations. I like the premise but will need help from my Muslim friends to ensure it's credible. The last thing I want to do is offend anyone.

It felt good to spend the day immersed in writing - as if I was exercising a part of my brain in need of a good workout. I wish I could find more time for writing fiction but it would likely mean getting up early, and I only do that willingly when I'm on vacation. :-) Perhaps, I'll get more serious about it when I retire.

Speaking of vacation, one of the things I've struggled with this week is feeling like I need to be productive every day - "productive" in the sense that I should be checking things off lists - books read, paintings completed, photos taken, blog posts written, social commitments met, etc. I enjoy all those things. I just wish they didn't feel so much like obligations sometimes.

It looks like the rain has stopped and I hear Husband upstairs, so it's time to sign off and get my butt out the door. I've lots to do before heading back to work tomorrow.

Happy running and writing, friends!

At last...a room of my own

“A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.” 
― Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own

I first read A Room of One's Own more than thirty years ago. I thought it was brilliant then and still do - particularly because I so rarely have time to sit and think these days. It seems as if life is simply too full of electronic devices and responsibilities that necessarily take priority over creative activities.

I'm trying to change that - to spend less time on-line and more time with my thoughts. Instinctively, I know I need time for quiet reflection in order to recharge - which is one of the reasons I like running so much. However hard it feels physically, it provides opportunities to let my mind wander, to think about things that matter to me, and to explore creative ideas.  

I read an interesting article lately that talked about why compassion may be in such short supply today. One of the theories is that, when people don't have time to daydream, they don't learn to empathize with other people. And, since they can't empathize, they can't feel compassion either. Of course, in a world of 24/7 connectivity - with more things to entertain and distract - fewer people take time to daydream, which may in turn mean the world will be less compassionate in future - a pretty depressing possibility if you ask me. 

In any case, from a personal perspective, the lack of time on my own has been getting to me lately. Don't get me wrong. I love hanging out with Husband. It's just that I spend all day every day interacting with people at the office and need a little solitude now and again to recharge and work on writing and other projects without interruption. 

With that in mind, Husband and I spent a good part of yesterday afternoon turning an unused bedroom into "a room of my own". As I write this, I'm sitting at the table we brought up from the basement to use as a desk. Though small, the room's got plenty of natural light and two windows that offer views of the majestic pines that surround our house, which I can stop to admire whenever I need a break. I must say it feels remarkably good to have this little space of my own. 

My friend Rob (a terrific illustrator and musician) recently reminded me that I don't need the perfect space, the best tools or unlimited time to be creative. I need only to give myself permission to create wherever, whenever and in whatever way I can. By taking a few minutes to capture writing ideas in a notebook. Or by grabbing a quick photo with my smart phone. Or by doodling an image on the corner of a memo. Or by writing a short blog post...even when I don't feel I have much to say. 

Having my own room won't automatically mean I spend more time daydeaming or working on creative projects. That will happen only if I turn off my devices and start making time for those things. But it is at least a symbol of my intention to spend more time feeding my soul so that I'm better equipped to live my life as I'd like to - with much more empathy, compassion and creativity. 

Happy running and writing, friends. 

Nanowrimo - Day #10 - It goes...

I'm nearly a third of the way into my 2013 Nanowrimo journey and the best I can say is that it goes. Don't get  me wrong. I've sketched out a reasonably complex story that's unfolding nicely. It's just that I'm not feeling especially enthusiastic about it.

I'm not sure what the problem is. Maybe it's that I'm so focused on working out details of the plot that I've yet to become immersed in my make believe world in a way that lets me smell and taste it. Certainly, the text doesn't include much description, which is fine - I can go back and add colour later - but I like writing description and, to this point at least, I'm mostly writing dialogue. Guess I'll just keep plugging and hope I start enjoying it more soon.

It's a three day weekend for me since our offices are closed for Remembrance Day on Monday. To mark the day, I plan to attend the service at the local cenotaph and write a brief account of our trip to Normandy. The photo above is of one of the many beautiful monuments we visited at the Memorial in Caen, France.

What about running, you ask?  No, I haven't given it up altogether but, yes, I've reduced the intensity of my training since Cape to Cabot. My current plan is to run 3-4 times a week for a total of no more than 30-35 kms - enough to maintain a reasonable base for next season but not so much that it interferes with other activities. We'll see if I can stick to that. Yesterday, I went for an "easy" 8k and couldn't resist upping my pace to 6:20/km - not blistering, by any stretch but much faster than I intended when I set out.

I still haven't settled on my running goals for next year. I think I might like to focus to shorter distances and see if I can increase my speed. However, watching the runners in New York last weekend had me daydreaming about one final big city marathon so I may not be done with long distance events quite yet.

And motorcycling and photography?  I managed to get Patti running yesterday long enough to go for a quick trip up the river and back. She was a little grumpy after so many weeks sitting in the driveway but, once she warmed up, she enjoyed carving down the highway as much as I did. If the rain holds off, we'll do a longer trip out to the beach and back today.

Unfortunately, my camera stayed in the bag all week because I was too busy with work and NaNoWriMo but I hope to get it out before long to try my hand at street photography. I've started following a wonderful photographer named Valerie Jardin who's got me thinking a lot about why I like taking and sharing photographs. More on that when my thoughts gel a bit.

Speaking of photography, I was very moved by this photo essay, which a friend shared on Facebook this week. Such stunningly beautiful and moving images of fear and pain, love and loss. To my mind, it's an example of the best kind of photography - one that evokes emotional response, exposes unexplored aspects of the human condition, focuses attention on the beauty of everyday life, and/or challenges us to question what we know.

It's time I signed off now and got back to the novel.  I had a pretty good day of writing yesterday - thanks in large part to Janet who came by for a few hours to swap story ideas (thanks, Janet!) but didn't quite reach my goal of 3,000 words. Hopefully, I'll be a little more productive today. It would be wonderful to start the new work week a little ahead of the game.

Happy running and writing friends!