Running Lessons: Musing about motivation

As promised, I'm writing today to report back on yesterday's run. It was fine. Not awesome, but not bad, considering. And the weather couldn't have been better - dry, mostly sunny and cool. My time was nothing to brag about. It took me almost 48 minutes to cover 5.5 kms - but in my defence I stopped to take pictures  a half a dozen times. I also took occasional walk breaks - though fewer than I usually do. All in all, not a bad effort.

While I was out, I thought a lot about what's motivated me to run in the past and what might motivate me in future. Over the years, I relied heavily on running to get me through tough emotional times. And raising money for causes I believed was hugely motivating. I've never been strong or fast enough to be truly competitive, but I enjoyed participating in races and collecting t-shirts and other bling. 

When I think back over my running career, the thing that stands out most is how fearless I felt when I was training regularly. I'd head out on trail runs by myself, miles from anywhere - even in winter - and run through the city alone after dark. Friends who warned me it wasn't safe were met with a cheery "no worries, the bad guys have to catch me first". 

My fearlessness wasn't as irrational as it sounds. The fact is I was in excellent shape and had terrific balance so rarely stumbled. I also made a point of not wearing headphones so I could stay tuned into my surroundings, and kept a sharp eye out for potential hazards. I can't think of a single time I felt really vulnerable on my runs through the city after dark, though I do remember wondering about the wisdom of some of my longest winter trail runs.

The question is what's my motivation now? It's hard to imagine I'll ever regain the level of fitness that enabled me to feel so fearless again - though I'd certainly like to try - and I've little interest in racing or fundraising.

Maybe it's as simple as this: I want to continue thinking of myself as a runner, as someone who makes the effort to stay in shape even as she ages, and is mentally and emotionally strong enough to bear the discomfort of taking on various physical challenges.

I once had a massage therapist who said he liked treating runners because they had a high tolerance for pain. I laughed about it then but he wasn't wrong. Anyone who's run distance knows the real limits on endurance are more mental and emotional than physical. Our minds often give up far more quickly than our bodies.

Whatever my motivation, it's clear I need a plan. To start with, I'll try to get back to running 3 or 4 times a week, and practicing yoga more regularly. I may have to hire a trainer and/or join a local gym as well. I've lost a lot of muscle mass over the past year or two, and the last thing I need is get injured before I've made any real progress. A trainer would help keep me accountable too. The tricky bit will be finding someone who knows about training older women's bodies. 

That's it for today. I'll sign off with a few photos from an outing to Keji Seaside with friends back in April. Access to the far end of the beach is restricted in summer so we were thrilled we could visit on such a glorious day before restrictions came into effect. How lucky we are we to have such wild and beautiful places nearby?

Running lessons: Just Start

Good morning, blogger friends. Here I am checking in at last after another long silence. What can I say? It was a incredibly busy summer and I was rarely home long enough to do laundry - let alone blog. 

However, Hubbie's on the road this week and I'm determined to use some of this precious alone time to get writing again. 

As it turns out, that's easier said than done. He's been gone four days, and this is the first time I've even attempted to write. There always seems to be something more important - or at least more pressing - to do, surrounded as I am by unfinished household projects.

You'd think after 18 months of pandemic restrictions, every last project would be done by now, but no. Partly because we keep launching new ones, but mostly because it's been hard to stay focused. 

In the early days of the pandemic, I was totally obsessed with learning all I could about the virus and how to keep those I care about safe, and then there was the horrific mass killing incident that started in Portapique, and then the US election sideshow, and then a worrying outbreak and lockdown, and finally it was time to hit the road in our camper. Oh - and somewhere in there - I spent 8 months serving on the very dysfunctional board of directors for our local credit union before resigning in frustration. (As an aside, the rest of the board resigned soon after and the regulator stepped in to replace the CEO so I suppose it wasn't a complete waste of time but it sure felt like it.) So - yeah - I've been distracted. 

My fear now is that, as restrictions slowly lift, I'll be completely overwhelmed and the remaining projects will never get done. 

Which is why I'd like to get back to blogging. This was the place I used to go to figure stuff out, set priorities, and give myself the pep talks I needed to stay on track. Most importantly, it was the place I nurtured my motivation to keep running.

Running. That's another story. It's been almost 20 years since I took up running and I loved it so much I was sure  I'd never give it up and yet here I am - 10 pounds overweight and in terrible running shape, struggling to find the motivation to tackle 5 kms to town and back. 

With my 60th birthday just around the corner, it's easy to tell myself it doesn't matter - that I don't really want to run anymore - but in my heart of hearts I know that's not true. I still want to run. I'm just scared to try in case I can't. 

The answer of course is to just start. Don't think about it. Just lace up my shoes and get my butt out the door. Take walk breaks. Run slowly. Track my progress, celebrate every success and trust the process. Chances are my body's up to the challenge so long as I pace myself properly, eat sensibly, and get enough sleep. After all, it wasn't that long ago I finished a 13k leg of the 2021 Virtual Cabot Trail Relay. And I haven't been sitting around all summer - I've been walking and hiking lots, and biking occasionally. 

So, off I go. I'll be back tomorrow with a report on how it went. In the meantime, here are a few pics from our summer camper adventures. More on those in the weeks ahead. 

Morning sun at Tor Bay Provincial Park

Late afternoon at Five Islands

Sunrise at Gilbert's Cove Lighthouse

Our camping spot on Bartlett's Beach

Walking on the ocean floor at Burntcoat Head

Riding the fourth wave

Once upon a time, words were my weapon of choice. I wrote quickly and effortlessly. I needed to write about the things that were on my mind. 

I still feel the need to write sometimes - still want to write - but the words don't come easily any longer. At least, not the words I want to write - the ones that tell what's in my heart as well as in my head.

Riding the fourth wave of the pandemic, I wonder if there's any point in even trying. 

But then I remember that writing used to bring me joy. And goodness knows we could all use a little more joy in our lives these days.

This week, I went looking for joy on the coastal barrens near Peggy's Cove. There's a reason Peggy's is iconic. The lighthouse is unremarkable, but the rocks on which it stands and the landscape surrounding it sometimes seem otherworldly.

These photos don't do it justice but they're the best of a bad lot. The light was harsh and I mostly used the wrong camera settlings. I'll have to try again another day.  

 

Because we could all use a little calm right now

There was more bad news on the covid front in our part of the world today so it seems like a good time to share some beach photos.  There's something so soothing about ocean beaches. The combination of salt air, crashing waves, and wind on our skin connects us with whatever it was that created so much beauty. Keep believing and stay safe, everyone.

Happy New Year 2021

As I look back at 2020 and, in particular, my post from a year ago, I'm reminded of just how far our world has shifted. And, though the pandemic still rages, and far too many are dying prematurely, I somehow feel an odd sense of optimism. Perhaps, because folks in our small corner of the world have done a relatively good job of pulling together to respond to covid-19 - which makes me more optimistic we can do the same to address the environmental and other crises we face. Or perhaps because so many have demonstrated strength, courage and compassion in the face of challenges that were unimaginable a year ago. I'm not sure, but in any case I cling to that small flicker of positivity to keep fear and anxiety at bay on the darkest days.

My word for 2020 was "lift" and my intention for the year was to work on lifting my own spirts and those of others so we'd all feel more optimistic about the future and our prospects for fixing our ailing planet. Looking back, I can't say I often succeeded in lifting anyone's spirits, but at least I did what I could to "flatten the curve" and support family and friends grappling with the impacts of the pandemic. 

As we head into 2021, I'm keeping my intentions modest, in line with my word for the year, which is "healing". What I primarily have in mind is healing myself physically - given my body's been more cranky than usual lately - but also my heart and my head. There are a few relationships I'd like to heal too, and of course there  are many aspects of our world in need of restoration as well.

Most years I set myself a few challenges in January to establish new patterns that will assist me in fulfilling my intentions. This year, I've set just one, which is to do 30 days of Yoga with Adriene. I always enjoy her online classes so am hopeful I'll complete the challenge but, in any case, the effort should get me doing yoga a little more regularly. 

The only other challenge I've set for 2021 is to be kinder to myself. For example, I'm giving myself permission to do whatever exercise feels right for my body rather than trying to follow a particular workout schedule slavishly. If the sun shines and I feel like running, I'll run. If I feel more like going for a walk or dancing in the attic or playing tag with the dog, I'll do that instead. And I won't beat myself up about my choices. 

The same goes for other things - like reading, writing and photography. Last year, I intended to read at least one book a week, which should have been easy to do, given we were stuck at home for the better part of 10 months. As it turned out, I did read a lot, but mostly online articles and documents associated with my various volunteer gigs rather than books. In 2021, I'll try to read more novels and short stories but, if I don't, that's okay too. 

The same goes for other interests. I'd really like to spend more time on writing, photography, quilting painting, etc., and will certainly do my best to make that happen, but I'm not going to panic if it doesn't. 

I suppose my 2021 intentions will seem unambitious to some, but 2020 was a reminder that nothing we have today is promised for tomorrow - not our health, our homes, our communities or our loved ones. Given that, my first priority this year has to be looking after myself, my family and friends, my neighbours and the planet. I'll get to the rest when I have the time, energy and inclination to do so. 

In closing, very best New Year's wishes to you and yours. And here's hoping that by this time next year the worst of the pandemic will be over and we'll be well and truly on our way to healing ourselves and the planet. 

Namaste!